Blogging at Work… A NO-NO. *Warning – 3 curse words*

But am I doing it anyway? Damn skippy.

I’m BAAAAACK!! To be straight up, I just lost all motivation for this blog – assuming I ever really had motivation to begin with. I think that after my miscarriage in January, I was just looking for something to keep my mind off of it and my head above the water. I wanted something new and exciting… promising.  I wanted to be someone entirely new and different – not Sharonda who  suddenly and unexpectedly miscarried at 17 weeks pregnant, went back to work a week later and kept it moving like nothing had ever happened. Something had happened. Something BIG. UGLY. DEVASTATING. And I wanted to cover it up. Forget it. Banish it. Scrap that shit and start over again with my husband, my daughter and a new career that I loved – like it never happened. I thought I could just not deal with it and go on to the next. I thought that was what I was supposed to do.  I mean, everyone would say “You still have Munkin (my 2 year old)” , which is pretty much saying “Yea, it’s sad but at least you have another child, some women don’t. Get over it.”  Am I right? No? Those two remarks don’t sound the same to y’all? Ok.

Well, I obviously succeeded in bullshitting myself  for and this blog for about 1 week  back in March – possibly less. Check the blog dates.  I’ve silently sulked, cried, grieved, pondered and put a pause on my life over the past few months. But I realize that as I’ve gotten closer to what my due date would have been ( June 29th), I ‘m feeling better. It’s like my mind/subconscious had to get out of the pregnancy, not just my body; but unlike my body, my mind had to go through the remainder of the 9 months.  “I should be still be pregnant”  has transitioned in to “I could have gone in to labor and had a baby by now”  – and its not so bad. I don’t have the urge to cry. I suppose once the 29th approaches or maybe a little while after, I won’t even have those kinds of thought anymore. WAY WEIRD.

Any who, on a positive “getcho life” note, I find myself looking forward to being pregnant and having another child. I’m more eager than ever to move in to a bigger place, map out a career plan,  and steady/build our financial situation in preparation for another child.  I’m excited about writing/blogging again. I’m excited about fashion and modesty being the perfect couple. I’m absolutely effing giddy about turning this into a career, a business, a life, and using my gifts and passion to inspire others. I’m ready.  Here’s to God’s plan & moving forward!

Shall we?

– Sharonda

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Always Remember…

1 Peter 3:3-4:

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.